Friday, January 2, 2009

Present But Not Accounted For

I've been having a hard time with this move. I can't believe we moved here a whole 5 months ago because I don't feel any more at home than the first day we arrived. Our house is coming together slowly and I'm trying to get into, and adhere to, a new routine/schedule. And I swear I'm trying my hardest to see in this town what others seem to but it just seems to me a really sad place to live. Every time I drive through town I wonder what I should be doing to make this community better because it seems so obvious to me that it needs some serious love. We've been so busy since moving too! I don't think we've ever traveled so much in a 5 month period, Florida, North Carolina, many trips back and forth to parents' houses, which are much further away now. I would guess that half of the weekends since moving have not even been spent in our new house.

I've also realized that ever since we moved I kind of lost my coveted day off filled with mocha, scrapbooking in a gorgeous store, and anything else my little heart desired without any mothering duties. Isn't my husband awesome for recognizing mothering is a job! I'm a person who requires a larger than normal amount of alone time. I need time to be able to think without being interrupted, to daydream, to gain positive perspective on my life. Without that chance to look in at my life from the outside I go a teensy bit crazy and start to dislike it. Absence really does make my heart grow fonder. That day off helped me make it through the week, no matter how rotten it was. Lately I've been more and more nutso and driving my family down with me. "Why am I so much crazier these days? Oh, yea, I'm not taking a day off!" Even when the Bohemian would send me out of the house or take charge of the boys I wasn't really taking advantage of that. I changed that today! I clocked out of mothering gig, sent to boys to Pappa with 100% of their requests, locked myself in my craft room with music blaring, took Mr. Cash on a Pug date to Petco and Starbucks, accomplished, daydreamed, refreshed, ahhhhh. I'm so much better now!


Beth said...

I know exactly what you mean about needing your alone time! I have always enjoyed having some time to myself! I think its very common in creative types. Glad to hear that you got some time to refresh. And I hope that you soon begin to feel at home. I know that can be hard too.

Punkinhead said...

Oh man... I want a day off. SOOOOOO bad.